Datsa Pizza | 907 N. Pennsylvania (downtown Indy) | Visited: Friday, November 28, 2014

datsapizza.com

Intro

My brother (a transplant from Los Angeles and now a ten-year resident of the Circle City) swears by this place. Based on his recommendation, I had tried Datsa a couple of times in the past. But we had yet to work it into our Slices of Indy rotation. 

Another thing the Hollands had never checked off our family to-do list was to go downtown for the world's largest Christmas "tree" lighting ceremony. Since my new office overlooks Monument Circle, it was a chance to see the annual event from the warmth and comfort of a 13th story vantage point. 

So, with those goals in mind, Benjamin, Amy and I set off for our chance to kill two birds with one trip downtown.

Atmosphere & Service

Since it was the day after Thanksgiving (technically Black Friday), we figured the restaurant would be crowded. We figured wrong. Truth be told, we were the only people in the place for most of our meal. 

The 36-seat restaurant is cozy (if not a bit cramped), with local artists featured on its walls. The staff of two was friendly, accommodating and contemplating shutting down (since they weren't busy) to head down and watch the lighting ceremony themselves. Not sure if they decided to do so or not. 

My previous two visits to Datsa had been at lunch, when business is a bit more brisk. Datsa Pizza is conveniently located on Penn, just northeast of the main library and catty-corner from the amazing new farm to fork restaurant, Plow & Anchor. 

Pizza (breadsticks)  

The breadsticks looked and tasted pretty decent. Above average. I'd give them a solid B in my breadstick gradebook. 

Since we were sans Sophia for the evening (Wesley was missing, too), we went with the Datsa Meaty Meat pizza, featuring sweet or spicy sausage (we chose the former), pepperoni, ham, ground beef and bacon. 

The crust didn't seem all that flavorful, but the combination of the rest of the toppings made for a delicious overall experience. 

In conclusion, I think Datsa is a good value for your pizza-buying dollar. You should give it a try the next time you're at the main library or meandering near downtown. 

Verbatims:

Ben: Breadsticks are doughy. The pizza is, um, hot. Tastes like some other place, but I'm not sure where. 

Brice: Sticks are solid, not too garlicky. Good cheese sauce, pretty sweet marinara sauce. Meaty meat has good flavor. 

Rating (out of 8 possible slices)

Dad: 5.0

Benjamin: 6.0

Noble Roman's Take-n-Bake P'za | 11725 Fox Road | Visited: Thursday, April 24, 2014

nobleromans.com

Intro

I have fond, delicious memories of Noble Roman's Pizza. 

Growing up on the northeast side of Indy, it was THE go-to pizza place. Old-school cartoons and black-and-white Three Stooges episodes on the projection TV. The giant window into the kitchen with a kid-friendly platform that allowed to you watch your pizza being made. Thick-crust pizza with giant dollops of tangy sauce. And, by far, the best breadsticks on the planet.

From an advertising standpoint, they pushed their pies (and burned their brand into my young, impressionable consumer mind) with a creepy-yet-lovable monster with tomatoes for eyeballs. (I tried finding some of the old TV spots, to no avail.)

Several years later, as a freshman at Indiana University, I would swing by the Noble Roman's on Kirkwood and wolf down two orders of breadsticks and a Coke before Finite Math on Tuesday and Thursday nights. Which really helped kick my Freshman 15 (and then some) into high gear.

As time went by, the Noble Roman's product (and, by default, the Noble Roman's brand) deteriorated. They started adding more QSR concepts in gas stations and C-stores—while their traditional locations kept getting worse and worse. The NR on 96th street (somehow) managed to remain open during its slow, downward spiral (though the sticks were still good). I often compared it to a rest area bathroom with free drink refills. It was that bad. The restaurant (and even the employees) were a disheveled mess. Not surprisingly, that location finally closed after a long, lingering battle with operational deficiency syndrome. 

Atmosphere & Service

Back to the present. 

Driving to and fro (fill in some destination in my busy driving-kids-around schedule), I noticed the NR P'za had opened its doors near our house, in the space formerly occupied by another brand that met its demise—Blockbuster Video. 

The exterior signage (above) is bold, graphic with a modern flair. The look is far removed from its traditional-looking predecessor, but that's okay. Makeovers, if done right, can help polish a tarnished brand. But the product/service needs to walk the talk as well.

I don't know if it's the franchisee's fault, but it seems like the interior would have been a lot better had they spend another $5,000 to $10,000 on their build out. Just sayin'. It seemed unfinished and not very well thought-out.  

So, with this whole take-and-bake thing, you're supposed to take the food and then bake it. 
We walked in and were greeting by a very friendly and helpful teenager. He explained the concept, wrote down our order, and handed the ticket to the folks behind the counter to make our "fresh" pizza.  

So far, so good. 

Grocery stores have employed the "put crap near the cash register so you make an impulse buy" for years. 
So maybe that's why NR has a six-foot shelf dedicated to pizza-related items, featuring everything from pizza-slice-shaped baggies to industrial-sized cans of cheese sauce to laser-guided pizza slicers. Tackiness and brand schizophrenia its best. 

[AUTHOR'S NOTE: Honestly, I don't really 'get' the Take-n-Bake concept. I think I've purchased Papa Murphy's only once or twice in my lifetime. It makes no sense to me. It's not convenient to cook it myself and there's not really any big cost savings. And it doesn't taste any better than many other options out there. Someone, please, explain it to me. Thank you.]

Pizza (breadsticks)  

The breadsticks? I did detect a very slight vestige of deliciousness of days gone by, but cooking it in my own oven didn't come close to capturing the same flavor and texture. Crispy on the outside, sort of blah on the inside. #EpicDisappointment #SoNotWorthTheCarbs  

The pizza? Sadly, it didn't produce the synesthetic flashback I was hoping for, either. We didn't go with the classic deep-dish, but the hand-tossed was just a sad excuse for a pizza. The Hollands went with half cheese, half pepperoni, and it was just uninspiring. The rectangle pizza they served back in the day at Mary Castle Elementary (with the obligatory side of canned corn) had better flavor. I'm sure if you piled this pizza with toppings it'd be less offensive, but the crust, sauce and cheese were bottom notch. 

Verbatims:

Sophia: Okay...for frozen pizza. Good dipping cheese.

Ben: Not enough sauce on the pizza. The breadsticks taste like pretzels at a baseball game.   

Brice: Price was fairly cheap. So was the flavor. Never again. 

Rating (out of 8 possible slices)

Dad: 2.5 (tied for worst so far)

Benjamin: 4.5

Sophia: 4.0

Bazbeaux | 811 E. Westfield Blvd. | Visited: Sunday, March 30, 2014

bazbeaux.com

Intro

Bazbeux is consistently ranked among the top pizza places in Indy and I'm sorry that it took us until our SEVENTEENTH review to get around to checking out this Circle City mainstay. 

Actually, full disclosure, I've probably only been to Bazbeaux a couple of times in my life. And have consumed it only a few more times as a carry-in lunch or affordable (yet tasty) craft services.

Of course, I was familiar with their fun jester logo, but never really knew the back story. If you want to learn more about the legend of Bazbeaux, the court-jester-turned-culinary-master, click here.


Atmosphere & Service

Given that it was one of the first warm spring evenings, I figured the place would be uber crowded. It was not. As with most Broad Ripple hangouts, the atmosphere is comfortable and easy going. Just like the Hollands. 

Pizza (breadsticks)  

Okay. Yet another pizza place that doesn't serve breadsticks. Dumbfounded. Anyone out there know the answer? Not a traditional menu item? Disparate oven temperatures? Restaurants just wanting to mix things up? 

So, instead, we went with the cheesy garlic bread. I would describe it as more cheesy than garlic, which is a good thing in my book. A decent tide-us-over-till-the-pizza-arrives option, but nothing overly impressive. 

We ordered two pies: the Colossus and the Bazbeaux. We decided against the plain cheese (going against our usual pizza-ordering M.O.). 

The Colossus has pepperoni, Italian sausage, ham, mushroom, red onion, green pepper, and black olive. I'm never really a big fan of green peppers, but decided to stick with the toppings the way the cook intended. Overall, it was very tasty. Nice and fresh. 

The Sophia

The Bazbeaux was a lighter option—not overly filling (with its thin crust) and a very salad-like or appetizer-like entree: fresh basil, garlic, sun-dried tomatoes. Again, the toppings seemed fresh and high-quality. 

The Colossus 

The Bazbeaux 

Bazbeux is a solid, local choice for pizza in Indy (there are two other locations downtown and in the Carmel Arts District). 
I still prefer a hand-tossed crust and more sauce, but the location, the fresh ingredients and the welcoming vibe make it a great place to eat. 

Verbatims:

Sophia: It's poppin'. It takes like spaghetti. If the crust was more, it would clash (with the toppings). It's a good balance. 

Wesley: That may have been the best bite of pizza ever...for thin crust. I'm tastefully full... in my head. 

Ben: I don't like the toppings (based on the ones we ordered). 

Brice: It tastes like a garden of meat.  

Rating (out of 8 possible slices)

Dad: 5.5 

Benjamin: 6.5

Sophia: 6.5

Wesley: 6.75

Rockstone Pizzeria & Pub | 11501 Allisonville Road | Visited: Friday, December 20, 2013

rockstonepizzapub.com

Intro

When I heard about the name of this place, the first thing that popped into my mind was The Flintstones—with its modern stone-age parodies of (then-timely) celebrity names like Rock Quarry and Stoney Curtis.

I should have asked our waitress about the theme, but it appears that the connection is the wood-fired pizza (more on that in a bit).

We were told there would be a 35 minute wait (it was cold, rainy Friday night, so we waited), but we were seated in just 15 minutes. So far, so good. 

Atmosphere & Service

Rockstone's homage to Hanna-Barbera in giant mural form.

Back to The Flinstones theme. We sat in the back dining room, so we didn't see the entire restaurant, but the waiting area had a giant (insert your own adjective here) mural in the style of Fred, Wilma and friends. I'm trying to make these blog posts more positive, so I'll let you form your own artistic opinion.

It was strange, though, that the restaurant has a modern/
contemporary feel with these stone-age touches.

My brother suggested it may have been another restaurant in a previous life (although my research says it was a CVS) and they just added some additional "design" elements. Not sure. It just seems like an odd combination.

Cavemen's Room Signage

Waiting (less than we thought) area

From a service standpoint, I thought the hostesses and our waitress did a great job, especially for a busy Friday night. 

Pizza (breadsticks)  

I really wish restaurants, especially pizza restaurants, would pay more attention to the details. It's like a fine dining establishment not having a stellar filet or an amazing cup of coffee to complement their desserts. 

But in the spirit of trying to keep things non-negative, I would recommend something other than the breadsticks as your appetizer. The kids seemed to be okay with them, but they were also very hungry and I'm sure anything even resembling food would have sufficed. 

Once we get to 20 reviews, I think I'm going make a list of the Top 5 breadsticks in Indy. You can hardly wait, I'm sure.

Pizza-wise, we opted for non-wood fired (AKA handtossed) because we were told the larger 14" pizza wasn't available in the wood-fired variety (it apparently doesn't fit in their wood-fueled oven). We could have ordered two or three individual fiery wood pizzas to feed our crew of four, but my brain wasn't working well enough to figure that out. Of course, since it's been so long since our last blog post, I failed to take a picture of our pie. So I found a pic someone else posted online and included it below. 

Photo credit: Dave W. via Yelp

Our choice was half cheese and half pepperoni. Fancy, I know. But that's kind of our pizza M.O. My take: the flavor was just okay, but nothing overly unusual or spectacular. Crust. Sauce. Cheese. Just okay. The pepperoni was crisp and tasty (reminded me of Donato's pepperoni).

For whatever reason, Wesley really, REALLY liked this place. I'll let him have his own opinion, but I think he may have been somewhat swayed by how hungry he was and how cute the servers were.

I regret not trying the wood-fired pizza or one of their more "exotic" toppings. Based on Yelp/FourSquare commentary, it seems like there are several menu items that the online masses seem to enjoy.

So, while I didn't score Rockstone very high, I think we will definitely go back sometime—and I will have to offer up a second review. I always want to support local restaurants that support other local businesses (e.g., Smoking Goose) when I can, especially when they serve a solid selection of local and craft brews.

But no matter where the Hollands go, we always have a gay old time.

Rating (out of 8 possible slices)

Dad: 4.5

Benjamin: 5.0

Sophia: 5.0

Wesley: 7.0

Maria's Homemade Italian Pizza | Fountain Square | Visited: Friday, September 13, 2013

mariasoriginalpizza.com

Intro 

Apparently, I'd make a pretty lousy reporter. While I have deadlines every day in my business, it's been more than a month between our visit and this post. My apologies to Mr. Ernie Pyle and the I.U. School of Journalism (where I took several of my advertising classes, even though I was a Telecomm major).

So, not so hot-off-the-presses... 

Their sign says they've been around since 1955. And, according to their website, "...our homemade pizza has been a legend on the south side of Indianapolis. We're pleased to announce our new location in the heart of Fountain Square."

After fifteen seconds of journalistic research, I learned that this south side legend used to be called Antonia & Maria's Old World Pizzeria (after originally being called Maria's), located on Shelby Street near Garfield Park.

Not exactly sure when they made their move to Fountain Square, but it's one of the most understated storefronts you'll find (or not find). I've literally walked by this place a dozen times and it never really caught my eye.

Either I need to pay closer attention or they need to something to undo their incognito.
 
Atmosphere & Service

The service was mediocre and slow. And the atmosphere? There are so many amazing buildings and spaces in Fountain Square. For some reason, this isn't one of them. The interior isn't very welcoming. It's a hodgepodge of ugly vinyl tablecloths and forced decorations. There is a central area set up for guests to play games such as chess, with a nice fireplace as its centerpiece. But the space is just not laid out or designed with any sense of anything—in my humble yet opinionated opinion. It wouldn't take much to make this space so much more cozy, inviting and worthy of a repeat (and regular) visit. 

Pizza (breadsticks) 

Hmmm. The sticks. The sad, sad little sticks. Not the worst I've ever had, but not really even worth ordering. 

The pizza was a disappointing dichotomy, which is often the case with pizza places. They did have some interesting menu items. And, after the fact, I learned that they have a sauerkraut pizza, which has received some culinary kudos in various online reviews. We went with half buffalo chicken ("A buffalo sauce base, red onion, chicken, ground sausage and ranch or blue cheese dressing") and half cheese. The BC pizza was quite good, but the cheese pizza was a sad excuse even for something found in your grocer's freezer.

We were in a hurry (heading to the LC game at the dome) and there really wasn't a lot of good things to say, so this review is sans kids' verabatims.

Here's how we ranked the joint. I really hate to give independent places like this bad reviews. Maybe I'll go back and try the sauerkraut pie the next time I'm out in FS. Or maybe not.

Rating (out of 8 possible slices)

Dad: 4.0

Benjamin: 5.0

Sophia: 5.0

Wesley: 5.0

Union Jack Pub | Broad Ripple Village | Visited: Tuesday, July 11, 2013

unionjackpub.co

Intro 

Seems like these Holland pizza blogs also serve as a newsletter of sorts for our family's goings-on. As I type this, Sophia is in a musical (Godspell at Allisonville Christian Church), which is the reason this visit was just the three Holland hombres (Sophia was at rehearsal).

Locally owned since 1979, Union Jack was a natural choice for our fourteenth blog entry.  I actually didn't know until recently that this is a family-friendly establishment (or at least half of it is), so I didn't realize it was eligible for our family-friendly blog.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but I had never eaten at Union Jack before our visit. I've downed a pint or two there a number of times (it is, after all, a pub), but most of my visits were of the typical "bar-hopping-in-B-ripp" variety. But I'd heard good things about their pizza and had even recently seen @nealjbrown (of Pizzology and Libertine fame) tweet that he was there enjoying some deep dish. Pretty good endorsement/advertising, for sure. 

Atmosphere & Service  

The atmosphere is, well, very pub-like. It's paneled in wood, with big, roomy booths, and every inch of every wall is decked out in photos and various bric-a-brac. And not fake Applebee's bric-a-brac, but genuine, honest-to-goodness bric-a-brac that's been collected over the last 30 plus years of business. 

The service was top notch. The place wasn't all that busy (it was a Tuesday night, after all), but our waitress was attentive and offered helpful recommendations and the appropriate amount of friendly banter.








Pizza (breadsticks) 

We had our choice of pretzel breadsticks or regular pubsticks, and we went with the latter. I was hopeful and optimistic, but was disappointed after my first bite. They had a slightly crunchy outer crust, without much personality or flavor
on the inside. To be fair and balanced, both Ben and Wesley said they liked them. So what do I know? Maybe this blogging thing is just going to my head.

One last thing about their breadsticks... they were crazy expensive: $8.75 for five sticks and two sauces. By comparison, the stuffed breadsticks at Kilroy's (just down the street) are only $7.99 for four, but those are so much better and well worth every penny. 

For our pizza, we went with the "U.J. Chicago Style Award Winning Deep Dish Pan Pizza (please be patient, 40 minute oven time)." Half cheese. Half Italian sausage and sliced tomatoes. The pizza was, as you can imagine, thick. It was like eating a slice of doughy lasagna.

As I've said before, I don't think I'm a big fan of pan/deep-dish pizza. It's too much of a gastroworkout—too much food and too much of a shock to the system. But since I'm ranking things here, I would give this pizza (on its own merits) a decent rating. The crust wasn't overly greasy and tasted nice and fresh, the cheese and toppings seemed to be of the highest quality. It wasn't overly saucy, but that seems to be a personal preference (problem?) of mine. All around, it's was a good choice.

And soooo incredibly filling.

As you can see by the photo, there were only six slices (and not a very large pan) for the three of us and our usually voracious appetites. But it was more than enough food. In fact, we ended up taking one-and-a-half slices home with us.  

And now a word from our resident beer snob

The beer list at UJ is fan-tastic. "With over 100 beers of the world to choose from you are sure to find one to suit your taste." They even have an Around The World Beer Club, which I may need to check out in the future. Their draft list was very good and included Sun King's limited-edition brew, Grapefruit Jungle. I enjoyed two pints, which made our bill a little higher than normal, but was money well spent in my beer snobby mind.

In conclusion...

Skip the sticks to save room for more beer. Order the deep dish (maybe with extra sauce) and enjoy the leftovers. I would be curious to try their other pizza options as well. I just might have to do that next time I stop in for a pint.

Verbatims from Benjamin: 

RE the breadsticks: They were good. I liked the spices they had on them. But they could have been a little bit fluffier.
 

RE the pizza: Really good. So thick. I couldn't even eat two slices.

Verbatims from Wesley: 

RE the breadsticks: Loved the breadsticks. Really liked the sauce. 
 

RE the pizza: It was good. Liked the sausage and the sliced tomatoes. Edge was a bit crispy. 

Rating (out of 8 possible slices, with 4 being average)

Dad: 5.5

Benjamin: 6.0

Wesley: 6.0

MacKenzie River Pizza Company | 4939 E. 82nd Street (near 82nd & Allisonville)
Visited: Friday, June 1, 2013

mackenzieriverpizza.com

Intro

LDOS! LDOS!!

So I picked up the kids (sans Wesley, who had already started his summer break "hanging" with his friends) and was just going to head to the nearby and never-miss Puccini's to celebrate the fact that... "School's. Out. For. Summer!"

But Tortilla and Bean really wanted to try something new and continue to add to our pizza blog. Of course, I gladly acquiesced and started driving towards Castleton with no particular destination in mind.

As we headed into the eye of the Friday night traffic storm, I remember Mackenzie River, which is located in the same spot that many restaurants before it have gone to go out of business (Painted Plates is the only restaurant that I can remember, but it seems there have been at least five other eateries to open and close their doors there).

Since the place seemed to be still open for business, we decided to give it a try.

I assumed this place was a chain, and it is, but it only has 18 locations (which is just a few more than Muncie-based Greek's, for example). According to their website, MRPC can be found in Montana, Idaho, North Dakota, Washington and, go figure, Indiana. One of these things is not like the other, but I guess if one of these things has enough cash to plunk down for franchise fees and upstart costs, you can associate yourself with the Great Northwest. Or at least their pizza.

Since the company is privately held, it's technically still independent. And my original intention of this blog was to keep things as locally focused as possible, but we were hungry. So let's eat.

Atmosphere & Service  

The interior of the restaurant was fun, if not overly contrived. With lodge-like decorations, fake trees and Christmas lights. It was pleasant enough, with ample outdoor seating (which was closed due to stormy weather).

The service was decent and they seemed to have about 75 servers donning MRPC tees and cheery grins. Tall booths provided a cozy shelter from the busy and noisy surroundings. Overall, it had a good vibe for a Friday night family outing.

Pizza (breadsticks) 

After 13 blogs about pizza, I feel like I'm running out of new ways to say the same thing—this sauce is so...saucy. 

But this visit was anything but enjoyable, which helped open up the descriptive possibilities.

The epitome of mediocrity.

Hand-tossed disappointment.

Crust. Rhymes with bust.  

Even though I'm the official "author" of this blog, the kids' verbatims (below) are spot-on and better/funnier than anything I could have written.

Onto the specifics:

The sticks were probably the least flavorful I have ever tasted. No garlic. No corn meal. No nothing. And the sauce was, well, uninspired. (Again, see the verbatims for the kids' awesome insights.)

The pizza was just meh (my apologies to the AP Style Book). We ordered half BBQ chicken and half cheese, and neither provided that initial (or delayed) oh-my-God-this-pizza-is-so-good moment. If I had to describe the crust, and I really had to think about it, I would say it tasted like Pillsbury breadsticks (the kind you get in a tube in the refrigerator section of the grocery store). Just boring and plain and overly doughy.

In their defense, I was talking with Kurt, one of my co-workers, a few days after our dining experience, and he said that he and his family really like the pizza and go there quite often. To each his/her own, I suppose. But based on my head-to-head comparisons, MRPC just doesn't measure up.

Verbatims from Benjamin: 

RE the breadsticks: 

They smell like Chinese food. 

They'd be a lot better if I didn't have a sense of smell. 

RE the pizza: 

I fell in love with the BBQ pizza. But it's not as good as Arni's.

Verbatims from Sophia: 

It's better than school pizza. But prison pizza is better than school pizza. Do they even have pizza in prison?

Rating (out of 8 possible slices, with 4 being average)

Dad: 3.0

Benjamin: 5.5

Sophia:  4.0